Friday, January 8, 2010

IT'S GREAT TO BE A GIRL!!

  • You won't starve without a can opener.
  • Your friends won't get drunk and hit on your sister.
  • Jeweller's and grocery stores won't rob you blind.
  • Short skirts will always cure Unemployment.
  • You're 5 times less likely to kill yourself.
  • You'll never get a draft card.
  • You can distract an entire roomful of men just by reapplying lipstick.
  • You smell better. No matter what.
  • When you fight, you fight to kill.
  • You can cook your own food.
  • You see the humor in war.
  • You rule the bathroom.
  • No matter how long it takes to get ready, guys will always wait for you.
  • Sex means never having to finish the job.
  • It's ok for you to marry for money.
  • No one ever mistakes your chest for a bathmat.
  • You'll never have more hair in your nose than on your head.
  • You don't consider urination a competitive sport.
  • You don't consider tomato sauce to be a fashion statement.
  • You'll always get served first in a hardware store.
  • Men are optional.
  • The Three Stooges don't live in your universe
  • You'll probably never have to change a lightbulb.
  • You never feel compelled to scratch yourself in public.
  • You can bend over in prison.
  • You can walk down the street without mentally undressing everyone around you.
  • You can always find a sucker to pump your gas for you.
  • You can wear your sister's clothes without making a major lifestyle adjustment..
  • Short girls are "petite". Short guys are "midgets".
  • Grooms all look the same. Everyone only wants to see the Bride.
  • No matter how ugly you are, you'll always be able to get laid.
  • No matter whose place you stay at, you'll always get the bed.
  • "Stagettes" are our little secret!
  • Someday you'll be a rich widow.
  • No matter what you do, you'll always be "daddy's little girl" (this is not sexual, you perverts).
  • You don't consider farting to be the epitome of humour.
  • You secretly admire Loreena Bobbitt. .
  • Your idea of a good movie doesn't need "Debbie does . . ." in the title.

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