IT'S GREAT TO BE A GIRL!!

• You won't starve without a can opener.

• Your friends won't get drunk and hit on your sister.

• Jeweller's and grocery stores won't rob you blind.

• Short skirts will always cure Unemployment.

• You're 5 times less likely to kill yourself.

• You'll never get a draft card.

• You can distract an entire roomful of men just by reapplying lipstick.

• You smell better. No matter what.

• When you fight, you fight to kill.

• You can cook your own food.

• You see the humor in war.

• You rule the bathroom.

• No matter how long it takes to get ready, guys will always wait for you.

• Sex means never having to finish the job.

• It's ok for you to marry for money.

• No one ever mistakes your chest for a bathmat.

• You'll never have more hair in your nose than on your head.

• You don't consider urination a competitive sport.

• You don't consider tomato sauce to be a fashion statement.

• You'll always get served first in a hardware store.

• Men are optional.

• The Three Stooges don't live in your universe

• You'll probably never have to change a lightbulb.

• You never feel compelled to scratch yourself in public.

• You can bend over in prison.

• You can walk down the street without mentally undressing everyone around you.

• You can always find a sucker to pump your gas for you.

• You can wear your sister's clothes without making a major lifestyle adjustment..

• Short girls are "petite". Short guys are "midgets".

• Grooms all look the same. Everyone only wants to see the Bride.

• No matter how ugly you are, you'll always be able to get laid.

• No matter whose place you stay at, you'll always get the bed.

• "Stagettes" are our little secret!

• Someday you'll be a rich widow.

• No matter what you do, you'll always be "daddy's little girl" (this is not sexual, you perverts).

• You don't consider farting to be the epitome of humour.

• You secretly admire Loreena Bobbitt. .

• Your idea of a good movie doesn't need "Debbie does . . ." in the title.