Thursday, December 31, 2009

BYE2 2009...HI!2010

Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


You helped me laugh

you dried my tears
because of you I have no fears
Together we live
together we grow teaching each other what we must know
You came in my life and I was blessed

I love you friend
you are the best
Release my hand and say good-bye
please my friend don't you cry
I promise you this it's not the end 'cause like I said you're my friend

Monday, December 28, 2009


Can you hear me??
Say something...

Listen to me..
I'm begging you...
Please listen to me!

You're my bestie!you're my top friends!
That's why I want you to listen to me...

  • Stop pretending that you're in <3>
  • Stop pretending that you're ok and I know that you're not...
  • Stop Loving her!
  • I know its hurt..She hurt you!!
  • That's why I hate her!She hurt you!she hurt you!
  • And I hate her!!
  • Can you hear me?
  • Please...=(
  • I know you hurt..
  • Please be yourself...
  • Please be a guy that I've known before..
  • You're not him..
  • totally different
  • where are you?
  • where are my old bestie??
  • =(
  • I want him!!Please God!I'm beggin you..give me back my old bestie..I want him..
  • I'm beggin you....
  • =(
  • Can you hear me?
  • I love you..
  • I really cares bout you...
  • and please
  • listen to me..
  • please...
  • can you hear me?=(

Monday, December 14, 2009


He said to me that it isn't that I love him, but it's that I want him.

Can wanting someone make you feel this crappy? I may sound dramatic, but does wanting someone make you want to rip out your own heart and never want to feel again. Does wanting someone make you cry so hard, and your heart hurt so much that you cannot breathe?

When do you know when it's love? Or when it's just desire?

I want to know the difference, before I keep chasing after someone who I think I love, but in the end it's just someone that I want more than I love.

I don't look at love that easy, so what is love and how is it distinguished from the other feelings that I feel? Is love never concrete? And if it's not then how do people say I love you?


Every now and then I come across a story about how a couple started out as being best friends, each having its own unique tale. Guys and girls tell me how difficult it is to keep quiet about admiring someone so close to them. How they spend so much time talking, hanging out and joking around with each other. It’s always really satisfying to hear that everything worked out after the guy or girl confesses getting the same feelings in return. But sometimes things don’t turn out so well. It’s hard being rejected by someone you tell all your secrets to and you might think things will never be the same again.

My best friend is...`U'... U and I have been friends since I'm not sure when.. He helped me through a lot of family issues, boy troubles, and school drama. And I helped him as well. Even the times when we had a significant other to occupy our time, I was the first he would find to talk and he was the first I would go to as well. We weren’t like most people. We would always make fun of and tease one another. We both knew it wasn’t flirting and we didn’t’ care about what other people thought about how we treated each other. Although we had an odd relationship, we still loved and appreciated each other as friends.

After a while, I noticed something different with U. He started being… really nice to me. It was pleasant to be respected and treated well, but I got suspicious because this wasn’t my best friend U. It was… this different nicer U. Call me crazy for wanting the rude U back. I confronted him about it and he confessed that he was starting to see me more than just a friend.

I loved U more than ever as a friend, but I just couldn’t see myself with him. I didn’t have those kinds of feelings for him and it was hard to hear him say he had those feelings for me… And that’s what I told him.

We stopped talking to each other for a few weeks because he told me he needed his space. It was horrible. I missed the name calling and the advice he gave me. He was the only person I wanted to talk to but I couldn’t. It was as if I was dumped by my best friend.

Even though I thought that this was the way it was going to be from now on, I just didn’t bring myself to accept it.

Eventually I confronted him and told him that I still needed him as a friend because I knew he still needed me as a friend. At that time, his feelings for me didn’t exist since he isn’t the type of guy who will have false hope. We slowly started talking again and soon, I had my best friend back. We don’t make fun of each other so much anymore but it’s nice to know we worked things through and remain best friends until this day.

So even though things may be rough with any situation, try and be the bigger person to work it out.


Dear Boy who acts like a Jerk,

What happened to you? Why can’t you speak to me? Are the memories that I trigger into that shallow head of yours too painful to bear? To be completely honest with you I think it is incredibly immature that you cannot speak to me, and I am not exactly sure why you cannot. Is it because I rejected you? Did I finally downsize that obnoxiously large ego of yours? Or is it the fact that when you look at me you cannot keep to the boundary of friendship? Perhaps this is selfish of me, but I miss our friendship. As wrong as it is to say this, I don’t care about how you can’t be near me without wanting something, I just want to know you’re alive. That you’re happy. That underneath that callousness, there is still a heart that beats. I just want you to talk to me, even if I can’t see you in person, which is probably the best thing to do—avoid real contact, but would emailing or messaging each other be such a bother? I want to share so much with you, about my life, some discoveries I have made, experiences I have had at college and realizations about myself that I have come to. Can you let go of your grudge and let me in, let me into your life again?

Sometimes I really doubt what happened between us. Were you just trying to chase after me for a physical desire and because I turned away from you, you no longer bothered in attempting to sustain a friendship? Or is the real reason, the one I hope it is, that you cannot fathom speaking to me because it will only remind you of what you cannot have? I’m not even sure why I wish that we could be friends again; you never were in it for friendship, and I never considered you just a friend, you were always more. And even though I am fearful that in speaking to you, buried and forgotten emotions may soon again rise to surface, I still would like to hear your voice. I think what has me dying to speak to you again is your eyes. Although you were never generous in displaying how you cared for me, I always saw it in your eye.

I don’t need you to be my best friend, my boyfriend, my admirer. I don't want that. I just need to know that you still care. That what happened between us wasn’t a lie…please dear God don’t tell me it was a lie. Although some may only speak negatively of you, I still cling to the hope that you saw more than me than just a physical attraction. But by you cutting me from your life, I feel abandoned in this darkness. It makes me feel like you really didn’t care about me because if you did, you wouldn’t shut me out the way you are. Don’t you see that even through the damage you have inflicted, I still care about you enough that I wish to hear from you occasionally? After all the lies, the cutting words you spat threw through the phone to me and the incessant flirting with other women, I still care. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?

I sincerely hope you’re dating someone, and I hope that she proves me wrong when I said that no other girl would ever care about you the way I did. But then again, she might prove that I was right all along. Maybe no other girl will care for you as much as I have and still do. Although you have hurt me in countless ways, to the point that I fear giving any other male that I meet an inch of trust, I am still here, keeping you in my prayers and caring about you. Because unlike almost every other person in your life, I see beneath the shallow, coldhearted, cruel mask you use to shield your hurt, rejection, abandonment and insecurity. I see you for the person that I’ve grown so deeply to care about, for the real man you are that you never allow anyone else to see.

I don’t care if you’re angry with me or if you hate me with a flaming intensity, because I have learned that it is impossible for me to despise you the way you think I might. I know you better than you think--you want me to hate you, you want me to loathe your existence because then it will justify why we no longer speak. But the truth is this; I will always care about you. No matter how many lies you told me, no matter what words you used to tell me I was self-righteous, no matter how many other girls there may have been---I still care and hope that you’re happy. Truly happy.

So hate me, baby. Hate me and list to yourself all the ridiculous reasons you probably conceived as to why I said “no” to you. Because deep down in that heart of yours that once had feelings for me, there is a man I know well, and although you won’t ever share it or show it, I know that you cannot wrap your head around why a girl like me still cares about you, even after all we’ve been through.

Yours Truly,

who used to be your girl..

Saturday, December 5, 2009


Just a quick question: Since when did "Cute" = "Dumb"?

My friend "A" has been dating this girl whom he describes as cute in a nutshell.
She's so cute,...she laughs at my stupid jokes.
She's so cute,...she trips over herself.
She's so cute,...she eats with a spoon.

You get my drift. Apparently, she got upset and offended because she seems to think whenever he calls her cute (which is a lot) he's really calling her dumb. Now, I don't know if she is because I don't know her well enough on a personal level. But just hearing from my friend, she sounds more like a klutz (like Jessica Alba in "Good Luck Chuck"). He can't understand why she would be this upset. Obviously he's totally sappy right now because she can burp and fart, and he would still think it's cute.

So how do you explain to someone that you find them cute as in endearing and not cute as in dumb? My friend is a bumbling idiot right now and thinks he's just putting the foot further in his mouth if he tries to explain himself. Is being called cute no longer a compliment?


I once dated a much older guy. We had lots of fun together and we clicked on many levels. He had an established career, had traveled the world, and knew what he wanted out of life. He was extremely romantic and charismatic. He would send me flowers when I was stressed out, would listen to what I had to say and loved to snuggle. Needless to say, I was completely smitten. And he was too. We began to date and made it "official" a month later.

I didn't realize it at the time, but age was one of the biggest problems in our relationship.He was approaching 30 and I was barely 18. During the course of the year we dated, he would say things like "Don't waste my time", "If you don't see this long term, just end it now", "I'm in it for the long haul and I hope you are too". At first, I thought it was sweet. I was so happy that he saw us being in a long- term relationship. But then, I began to feel the pressure. I was definitely not ready to get married and even if I was, I knew he wasn't the one. He made me feel guilty for simply enjoying our relationship and accepting it in the present moment. I enjoyed being around him and he helped me grow as a person tremendously. Was that such a terrible thing for me to do?

Unfortunately, his comments grew worse and I felt like I was stuck. I broke it off eventually. He declared that the year had been a "waste", that I had led him on for nothing. He claimed that I was selfish and too "young" to understand what an adult relationship was like. I was extremely hurt by this. Later on, I realized that he was on the marriage track. Even though we never formally spoke about marriage, his actions, comments and certainly his age showed it.

Is it wrong to date someone and simply enjoy their company for a while? Does age matter? Do you have to see yourself marrying the person you're currently in relationship with for it to be successful?


or these guys....

I've been seeing this trend lately in movies, the male figure is, let's say, not-so-good-looking. Guys like Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Jason Segal. These men do not have washboard abs. They aren't 10's - per se. And you definitely wouldn't think to see them with girls like Kristen Bell, Jennifer Aniston, Amber Heard, Mila Kunis, Jaime Pressly. (They also all seem to have really curly hair?) So why are they so likeable? Why do they always seem to get the pretty girl? It's because, (and I'm starting to see this in my own life) they are hilarious, genuine, non-bullshitters, that seem to have a heart of gold.

You see the guys like Zac Efron, Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, (and who is this Taylor Lautner kid?) the pretty boys, the ones with the extremely hot bodies and good looks; they aren't doing it for me anymore. OK, they're attractive. But what the hell... They have no personality, they seem to have this "I'm better than you" attitude, and they have an ego the size of Texas. (I'm strictly talking about on-screen performances and overall perception, I really don't know how these guys are in real life)

So I have this friend. And maybe I just never noticed him much before. But I hung out with him a couple times recently, and although he is no Ashton Kutcher, I find myself extremely attracted to him. Not because of how he looks; but because of who he is. We totally have the same sense of humor (I was literally laughing at everything he said) and he is generally a very sweet guy. Now I had to keep the flirting to a minimum because I was already with someone there, but he texted me after we had left and said it was good to see me again and we should definitely hang out more. So I knew he felt some sort of attraction there too.

Now my dating record is all over the board. I've dated some crazy characters. It's because I have never thought about what other people think, and just gone with how the guy makes me feel. (My friends are always telling me I can get someone better, i.e. someone hotter) That kind of has changed, I'm now dating this guy who is very physically attractive. And I really did like him at first. (I think I was blinded by his attractiveness) Now all of a sudden I'm not feeling the same way about him anymore. And I really can't stop thinking about that friend...

So do looks matter at all? Would you rather have the hot guy, or the not-so-hot guy that you get along with better? And do you think you find someone more attractive after you get to know them and like their personality? I'm really beginning to think so... :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Happy Holidays to Me?

So I realized recently that the older we get the more the Holidays become about everyone around us and the less they become about us. I'm fairly young, in my early 20's and am already realizing that I will from now on be in such a situation as to give up what I want for the Holidays in order to make sure that everyone around me is happy on theirs. I wish I could do it and still get things my way at least a little bit but there is never enough resources. Either money is tight, time is short or the universe decides against it.

This seems to sound whiney so far and honestly it probably is. I am more than happy to sacrifice most things so that all the other people in mine and my boyfriends lives get a special Holiday Season. However, I do wish that I could feel at least a little bit special. Like someone would go out of their way to try and make mine special. It doesn't normally happen though. Hard as some people might want to it just never seems to happen.

A few days ago I was talking to several older women, all mothers and wives. They were talking about the "family gift". That one thing the whole family agrees they can share and how that was usually a gift fo the husbands and kids, how they never really got much out of it. On top of that it also seemed like they were the ones to run around most to put everything together, and then were the most exhausted and the least noticed on the Holiday itself. Maybe I'm just starting to figure out how my mother must have felt all those years, hard as I tried on the Holidays, because to be honest Santa Clause just took a great deal of attention!

I'm not a mother yet. I am not a wife yet. I have not felt the true exhaustion of the preparations. I am simply starting to understand. So to all the mothers that put in all that work THANK YOU! To all those parents and spouses who give up their Holiday cheer to make everyone else happy THANK YOU! To everyone who knows what it's like to feel a little bit left out when everyone else is celebrating on the day you've prepared THANK YOU! You make the Holidays worth having, and you make the smiles possible and you deserve the biggest and best THANKS!

Happy Holidays and may everyone get to feel special!

Thursday, November 5, 2009


I lost my bestie...
But I got a new one...
D-wan is my new bestie...
I love him...aha
and I'll always do...
I <3 him because....

  • I think he's a guy not a boy
  • He always act like a `nanny' but with a reason
  • He'll not keep his mouth shut if i did something wrong(he always giving advise)
  • He's my senior
  • That mean he's older than me
  • He always there to remind me about `solat'
  • I like the way he text me
  • the way he respect me during our conversation
  • He's the guy who woke up late at night by playing his guitar and sangs a song to me
  • And I admit `I love that'(smiling)
  • I love the way he makes me missing him
  • There's a lot of reasons why I love him
  • I just can't put into words...
  • It's seems like word doesn't enough to describe how much I love him
For D-wan,
Thanks for being my bestie!!
Love you!!
and I'll always do...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


  • I'M SINGLE...
  • BUT

Sunday, October 18, 2009


All the time

I look in your eyes

But what I see

And what you say to me

Are two totally different things

You pretend you put on a facade

I only wish you knew that I'm not

The only one who sees it as odd

Fake people

The things they do are oh so evil

Because of their own insecurities

They try to pass on to you their idiosyncrasies

Thinking they are your friends you let them into your lives

But then they turn around and about you tell nothing but lies

Jealousy is such an ugly thing

Almost as ugly as hypocrisy

Fake people

The things they do are oh so evil

Fake people

Fake people

So now I must ask who are your friends

Are they really what they seem to be

Or are they just trying to hide from you their envy

Do your friends really have your back

Or is it that that's where by them you've been stabbed

I once had a friend

One I thought would be there for me till the end

Then one day my happiness ended and theirs began

And when I needed someone to lean on

Behind me did no one stand

Fake people

The things they do are oh so evil

Because of their own insecurities

They try to pass on to you their idiosyncrasies

Thinking they are your friends you let them into your lives

But then they turn around and about you tell nothing but lies

Jealousy is such an ugly thing

Almost as ugly as hypocrisy

Fake people

The things they do are oh so evil

Fake people

Fake people

Be careful who you let know your business

Cause in the end

Rumors about you they could be spreadin'

Don't put your trust in people who don't trust you

There's no telling what they're liable to say or do

Grow smarter with each experience

And you'll see true friends

Are the friends who are their with and for you till the end

Fake people

The things they do are oh so evil

Because of their own insecurities

They try to pass on to you their idiosyncrasies

Thinking they are your friends you let them into your lives

But then they turn around and about you tell nothing but lies

Jealousy is such an ugly thing

Almost as ugly as hypocrisy

Fake people

The things they do are oh so evil

Fake people

Fake people


Every new beginning,
comes from some beginnings end.

Every time you kill me,
I am born again.

Every time you close that door,
Another door is opened.

And every time you say goodbye,
a different word is spoken.

Every time you look at me
my back is facing you,

And every time you ask to see me
I'll have something else to do.

Every time I join your game,
You're not playing fair,

And every time I really love you,
I pretend that I don't care.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


It’s your birthday time again;
It’s true; there’s no denying,
Another year has come and gone;
You know that I’m not lying.
So for you, the birthday person,
Here’s what I want to say:
I hope this birthday’s the best one yet,
In every delightful way.
So happy birthday to you.
Have lots of birthday fun!
May your birthday wishes all come true,
Even if you have a ton.
missin u!

Saturday, September 19, 2009


aznal lutfi will not coming back for raya..=(

Friday, September 18, 2009


I'm sorry friend
I don't know what to do
I try so hard
to be a better person to you

I screw up a lot
and I ignore you too
I don't know why
but I still love you

your my best friend
I know we can make it through
lets make this friendship last
and make it better and true

I know your getting sick of me
I'm getting sick of myself too
I don't know how many times
I can say sorry to you

but really I am a fool
to let such a wonderful
friendship break in two

I'm going to push aside the past now
I'm going to be nicer to you
and show what I can do

your my best friend still
and your my favorite too
remember the good times and I
know we'll make it through.
SORRY='( by asny
I'm sorry

Saturday, September 5, 2009


Recently,i've had a conversation with my guy about marrying an airline pilot...

to conclude, he said:

don't marry an airline pilot - unless:

  • You have an incredible amount of patience
  • A solid job that earns decent money
  • Don't mind doing a lot of stuff by yourself
  • Don't mind moving all over the world
  • Are a dab hand with ebay/ freecycle/ putting up shelves one-handed/checking tyre pressures
  • You have a great sense of humour
  • You're a very trusting sort of person... AND
  • You love him more than anyone else in the world.

And to be honest, if that's the case... You should be fine. Really. There are times when it will all drive you crazy, but I promise, it WILL be worth it. Honest.

And remember - marry the MAN, not the pilot. If you marry him just because he's a pilot, you'll be very disappointed!

MY COMMENT: i still love him because he's a pilot..=p

Friday, September 4, 2009



Well, I've been pondering things again....sitting on the porch...swinging...and thinking. I've been thinking about reaching deep within and pulling out parts of me that not longer serve me well. Actually, I've been going through a process of this for several years now. One by one different little things uncover themselves and it becomes necessary to ask myself if I'm fulfilled in that behavior or attitude. I shouldn't make it sound like these things uncover themselves because they more or less are brought to light, let me say. And usually through circumstances or others or both. And then even mean, always through repetition. I mean, really, sometimes I ask myself why I keep doing the things I do not want to do.

I have spent many years now in a process of looking within to determine the motive behind certain actions. And yet, once again, I am faced with asking myself "Why do I do the things I do?" I've come to believe there are two huge factors that lie beneath.....fear and love. Fear that if I accept the here and now.....I will miss something more. And if I allow myself to completely embrace people and situations in my life..I will not be good at loving, so to escape that I never completely allow the thin glass between us to fall away. It's a vicious cycle and one that keeps me asking myself "Why".

Experience has taught me that it is spiritually healthy to ask ourselves "Why do we do the things we do?" It's a way of holding ourselves accountable for our own actions. There is great power in being aware of yourself...nothing changes magically because I am but once aware I can look beyond the surface action to see what motivates me. and I don't mean just looking at negative behaviors but also asking the "Why " question when I'm having success in my actions also.

I have had such a restless heart for some time and found it hard to identify its cause. I want to find contentment right where I am those around my my my family....I don't want anything more anymore. I want to live in the moment and dance where I am at! I'm going to be asking myself more frequently "Why do I do the things I do?"

Saturday, August 29, 2009


During my way to somewhere(secret)
These are the conversations between me & him...
who??asks`GUY' lorh...who else...=)

ME:Can i put your picture inside my blog?
HIM:No.(strictly saying)
ME:But, why?
HIM:Because I said no!
ME:But you are my `guy'.The one who has taken me!
HIM:Yes I am.I'm yours & you are mine(our `life blood' word)
ME:So,why must I can't put your picture inside my blog?
HIM:You can put my picture inside your blog,but...(suddenly his phone ringing..)
ME:(after a while, i continue asking) But why???
HIM:You can put my picture but after you said `YES I WOULD'

ME:What?in your dreaming...
HIM:So, would you marry me?
ME:I want to get married with someone who his picture all over spread inside my blog...I want everyone know that I've taken..and of your pictures inside my,about your proposal,...sorry,I can't accept...You are not the one...(not-in-mood)=(
HIM:(Before he stop his car and went inside the 7Eleven)He said:Whatever it is,always remember this,`I'm yours & you'll always be mine'...`no matter what the people say,I'm always inside there'..and please remember this,you don't have to tell all the people about our love,you & me is more than enough...we're the one who'll get married...not them...(Then he smile)
ME:(no comment)o_O...

To conclude:He always make me fell in love with him over and over again when `his word' out from his mouth...
almost forget,all these are the proofs about our`life blood' words..

Friday, August 28, 2009


Never realized about this...These are some of our words between me and aznal lutfi a.k.a vhan...all these words seems like to be our life blood...

  • i'm yours & you are mine
  • fine...
  • no matter what....
  • i'm always inside there....
  • really??
  • please.....
  • love me yes...
  • ask yourself first...
  • I love you because of your money
  • i want hilux
  • act as my gf@bf
  • would you...
  • you're an airlines pilot,that's why i love you..=p
  • you're not beautiful as a stewardess,that's why i love you=)
  • as you wish...
  • you first...
  • i want money
  • aha...`perut besar'
  • you're matured enough
  • I'm not old,I'm just matured
  • come over here
  • I'm on my way
  • call you back later on...
  • good care
  • LOL
  • you gotta be kidding
  • I'm not your wife....
  • I'm surrender
  • I do love you...
  • nope...
  • stop eating...
  • so,...???
  • I'm a materialistic
  • it's hot
  • don't...
  • give me your love,then I'll give you mine...
  • bye
That' s all for today...there's a long way to go.....=)
To conclude:both of us can be considered as `TALKATIVE'
current mood: cupid

Monday, August 17, 2009


I searched among the card displays,

to see if I could find,
A little something that would say
just what was on my mind.

However there was not a one,
that captured it just right,
For no one else can understand
just what I'd like to write.

I even find it difficult
to try to write it down,
For how do I portray to you,
this friend that I have found?

I close my eyes and what I see,
is someone I adore,
A person who is beautiful,
and even so much more.

Mere words cannot describe
the many qualities you show,
The love and caring nature that
you share with those you know.

Your kind and gentle temperament,
your sweet angelic smile,
Your softly spoken sentiments,
that will reach across the miles.

Your smile and laugh that sparkle with
the softness of your sighs,
The way your face lights up a room ...
that twinkle in your eyes.

The loving gestures through the weeks,
that quickly come to mind,
For always you've a gentle word
to calm and soothe I find.

I struggle and I search to try
to find some words anew ...
And yet I cannot capture
all the things that make you... you.

I will therefore, be satisfied
that you must simply know,
Just how I feel about you,
for with words I cannot show.

For Nadia.... She is a new friend in my life and I think that she is so awesome... Words could NEVER describe her! You just have to meet her!
really love u Nadia..

Saturday, August 15, 2009

i do love u..tayim=)

I know we are miles apart
I just want you to know you will always be in my heart
I always think of you
And I know you think of me
I will always remember you
when you go off to sea
We will always have each other
I am so glad you are my big brother
Your so sweet
And so caring
And when I need something
You are very sharing
Of all the big brothers in the world
I got the best
I look up to you in so many ways
I hope we are best friends
For all of our days

love you,cek anes!!

My dear sis,
you are the greatest there is,
And amazing in everyway.

I greatly admire and look up to you,
Each and every day.
You are always showing how much you care,
From your heart that is filled with love.
You are a beautiful Angel,
Sent from the heavens above.
I am the luckiest Sis in the world, To have grown up next to you.
We played and laughed and had fun together,
A great bond that has always stayed true.
Sis you are always in my heart & thoughts, And I am always sending you a hug and kiss.
You are my world and I love you so much,
Always and Forever...
Your Lil' Sis.



Feel good when somebody Miss u.

Feel better when somebody Loves u.

But feel best when somebody never forgets u.

A friend is sweet when its new….but it is sweeter when its TRUE!

But u know what? Its sweetest when its you.

Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know I need u.

years may fly, tears may dry, but my friendship with u will never die.

One day u will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life? I will say: my life… You will walk away from me without knowing that U R MY LIFE!!!

A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when you have nowhere to go, a friend is honest, a friend is true. A friend is precious a friend is u.

If kisses were water, I will give u sea.

If hugs were leaves, I will give u a tree.

If u luv a planet, I will give u a galaxy,

if friendship is life I will give u mine.

People live People die

People Laugh People Cry

Some give up Some will try

Some say hi Some say bye

Others may forget YOU but never will I.

If I were to be anything in this world…. I’d be ur tears!!!…

So, I can be conceived in ur heart, born in ur eyes, live on ur cheeks & die on ur lips!!!!!

If u r a chocolate ur the sweetest,

if u r a Teddy Bear u r the most huggable,

If u are a Star u r the Brightest,

and since u r my “FRIEND” u r the “BEST”!!!!!!!!!

A special friend is rare indeed,it seems to be special breed,yes,perfect friends are very few,how lucky i am for having u...

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,

an hour to appreciate them,

a day to love them,

but it take the rest of your life to forget your love ones.

When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What is your wish for today?

“I said : please take special care of the person i dedicate this!!!!!!!”

Time might lead me to nowhere and faith might break into pieces but I will always be THANKFUL that once in my life’s journey we became FRIENDS!

It takes half our life to find true friends & half of it keeping them.

I am lucky to have spent less than half my life finding you & wish to spend the rest keeping you.

In my life I learned how…

2 love 2 smile 2 be happy 2 be strong 2 work hard 2 be honest 2 be faithful 2 forgive

but I couldn’t learn how.. 2 stop remembering u.

I have seen things u only imagine to see… But I haven’t seen anything sweeter than u.

There r many stars but the moon is u,

there are many friends but the best is u,,

To forget me that’s up to u,,, To forget u I will never ever do.

U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart,

U may be out of my reach but not out of my mind.

I may mean nothing to u but u will always be special to me!!

How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exist?

How can u tell the leaves not 2 fall when wind exist?

How can u tell me not to fall in friendship when u exist.?

Knowing a friend like u has made me happy in a million ways

And if Ever I Have to Let you go………..I would Find a million reasons to make u stay!!!!

If I m in hell & u in heaven,

I always look up & be proud of u.

but if I were In heaven & u in hell,

I beg God 2 send me down coz heaven wont be heaven without u.

Life is 4 u, death is 4 me,

being happy is 4 u, being sad is 4 me,

being together is 4 u, being lonely is 4 me,

everything 4 u but u r 4 me.

If I could pull down the rainbow

I would write ur name with it

& put it back in the sky to let everybody know how colourful my life is with a friend like u!!

Never say ur happy when ur sad…

never say ur fine when ur not ok…

never say u feel good when u feel bad… and never say ur alone when I m still alive.

Sometimes my mind asked why?

I miss u, Why?

I care 4 u, Why?

I remember u then my heart answered its simply b’coz you are a sweet friend!!


thanks for being there for me...

and thanks also for being you....

written by me with the help of aznal lutfi=)

Friday, August 7, 2009


That no matter what, girls cant just be happy?

Like seriously. I dont know what it will take to make me happy for such an extended period of time that I wont find myself bitching about another thing to my friends. Either its what I want from my boyfriend that he isnt giving me, what I want to do that I didnt get to, about this friend or that, that I dont have enough ____ . Im just realizing that guys are right. Yes . I said it. Shocked?

You know how they always complain that girls are never satisfied? Well its so true. You can be happy in the moment. But there will always be one thing or another that you need to make yourself happier. Then, once you get it or it happens, you still want more !

For example, I just found this amazing song that I was totally in love with. But I overplayed it, and now I just want another equally amazing song. We take for granted what we have, and we miss it when its gone. I am going to try, once a day, to sit there and think about the things in my life that I am grateful for. Rather than the fact that I didnt get to go to Starbucks today and am stuck with damn powder hot chocolate. You know? At least I have the powder stuff! Its better than nothing! I know its the age old predicament we as females find ourselves in.. but we should just learn to accept what we have as amazing, when it is. And not have to wait until its gone to see it for what it is.

On a side not,my boyfriend flying to Perth tomorrow. I had a long talk with my boyfriend tonight.. and he made a few promises to me. Im really hoping things are going to change, guys. We had previously decided this trip would be a break for us. Im not sure where that stands now. I'll fill you in when I know.. I will however, be sure to keep a close eye on him. I am not just letting this go based on a few words promised in a sweet, loving moment.

I went down to the lake with a good friend of mine, took some pictures and goofed around.. Got my mind off all the bullshit for awhile. It was a kind of therapy for me. I cant wait to leave, clear my head and get some sense knocked into me! Woo Hoo!

Monday, July 27, 2009


Ha ha! The funny thing is, he said "You're probably going to blog about this, aren't you?" Anyway.

Before he left for Bangkok for his work, we were saying our goodbyes and I love yous.

Here's how it went:
I love you
Him: I love you too.
Me: Really? You really love me?
Yes, I really do love you, with all my heart.
Me: Why?

Then it became silent. He stuttered a bit.

Him: I love you because, ..., uh, UGH! Why do you have to put me on the spot like that?!?

Should I be upset that he can't tell me why he loves me? He didn't say anything for a long while. Approximately like 30 minutes. After that while, he hugged me. And we started talking again.

Him: Why are you so quiet?
Me: Me? You're the one that's been quiet! Ever since I asked you that question.
Him: I just don't want to sound like a idiot when I answer you.
Me: How are you going to sound like an idiot answering a question like that?

I felt like I was being sorta mean, but I was just messing with him because there shouldn't be a reason why he should stall on a question like THAT. Anyways, he attempted to answer but failed!

Him: I love you because you love me
Me: Ew! So you're saying that everyone that is in love with you, you have to love them back?
Him: No no! See, you're probably going to blog about this aren't you? Just because I can't answer your question
Me: Well it's a simple question! Why are you with me? There should be a reason you love me. You say "I love you" with no reason behind it?
Him: Can you tell me reasons why you love me then?
Me: I can tell you MANY reasons why I love you. And I wouldn't have to wait 30 minutes and stall just to answer the question.

Lol. Yeah, this conversation didn't really end the way I wanted it to. He told me little tiny things why he loves me. Like "Because I deal with his nerdiness" or some little things I do.

What do you think? Should I be upset that he couldn't answer the question like I expected him to? I was thinking that maybe he doesn't really know what LOVE really IS. We've been together for almost 2 years now. And I love him more than he will ever know. But I want the feeling to be mutual. Not just me loving him with all that I am, but him doing the same for me. At times I feel like maybe he likes the company/hugs/. But he doesn't really know the true meaning for love.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


A simple word isn't it?
It's uttered every day to almost every person imaginable.
Who are your friends?
I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to.
Now I realize that friends aren't that.
They are the people that touch your heart.
You could spend hours with them by doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life,just because it was with them.
They are the people you can share your secret with,cry with,laugh with,and just have fun with.
They don't judge you and make you change.
They accept you exactly as what you are.
They look at you and always see a great person inside you.
The one that they love spending time with.
You all share something in common and are tied together by memories,tears,laughs and smiles.
You are tied together by love for the other.
Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world.
I find my time with my friends were the greatest and the best time i ever had.
And it will always be the same.
My friends are my heart,my soul,my fun,my laughters,tears,loves and my life...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

L.O.V.E to be Loved

HEY ITS ME AZNAL@Vhan: " well i love Asny more than anything i've ever loved anything before...shes so beautiful and she knows exactly how to treat do anything for her and nothing will ever stop me from giving her one last i love u before she goes to bed...i love my shenny and i will kill anyone who tries to take her so yeah =] *mwah* i love u Asny.I'm yours u'll always be mine

This is hacked by Edy(not the boyfriend lol), this girl is like amazing :D. She randomly added me on myspace one day and i decided to talk to her :P. We pc4pc each other and thats how we really started talking xP. Shes like the coolest weirdo ever! Our conversations are really strange most of the time and that makes her fun to talk to :D. And no matter what she says about her looks i think shes very gorgeous :). It would be really cool if i could chill with her in person im sure we would have a blast :). So basically im saying that Asny is the shit and anybody that knows to her is lucky to know her :D

Asny! You're Fucking Awesome! I absolutly love our random conversations they make me nearly die of laughter. You knoww how to cheer me up when i need it. You're like my bestfriend only in a different state. So my long distance bestfriend I guess is what i'm getting at? ANYWAAYS If I had to pick someone to go kill mega dead zombies with knives i'd pick T-pain J/K It would totally be you! If i'd never met you i think i'd be an emo kid all the time no one has a sense of humor anymore cept you! And i think you're the cutest thing to walk the earth :D ! we're both awesome xD But I'ma Quit Rambling On About How Ah-mazinn You Are! I Loverz You Asny! -Edrean Abdullah

Peanut is telling the story of a pretty girl her name is Asny Saad. we sorta started talking but its like we knew each other forever shes like adorable and if you dont think so well ima jizz in you left nostral.any ways id get to know her b/c she pretty dam awsome id kick all my friends in the nuts juss to see her in my life,who ever lives close by her is pretty dam lucky cuz Asny is beautiful so you shud get to know her like now ,right now ,or eles ill jizz in your right nostral too (:Shafinas known as Peanut

this is my bestiee..
Asny my bestie... no one elses only mines =)i love Asny.. shes my bestfriend ever and we have been threw a lot but we got threw it. our friendship is unstoppable![[= no one & not anyone can ruin our relationship even the one who has taken her (Vhan)...=p we met a while ago and when i first did, i knew she would be in my life forever and ever.I luv u and i'll always do.
Time: 2030
Place:Capt.Vhan's house

heyy , well i am Adeeba Aziz(Deeb) , and thiss amazing chick is Asny. we met a while ago , i dont really remember how lol , but i will never regret it. we barely talkedd , untill a little bit ago wehn we hadda little situation , but that brought us closerr , she tought me a lott , and i am really proud of how we turned out. any guy would be lucky to have her , but she is takenn lol and if he hurts her , im gonna have to kick somee booty hehe. she is a great friendd , and overall amazing , so if you dont know her then you are definatlyy missing outt on one greatt girl. -Deeb